To be completely honest, it took a while for me to muster the courage to write this post. This journey has been incredibly personal to me, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to share it with the world.
But here it is.
Left: August 2011. Right: January 2014
I have always been chubby. Fat. Plump. Prosperous. Whatever you'd like to call it. This photo was taken when I was 8 - that's me, seated on the far right.
And because of that, I've been told that I'm 'big-boned'. People asked if I ate more than normal kids. Trust me - Asians treat fat kids like a museum exhibit. That's how rare we are. Some even chastised my parents for 'poor parenting' and nutrition. As a child, I did not see or appreciate the value of sports/activity - and I believe a lack of exercise was my main cause of weight gain.
"Why are you so fat? Do you eat a lot?"
Along the way, I learned not to heed rude comments. To ignore. To walk away with my head held high. To place my self-worth above appearance. And it was all good.
By the time I was 15, I had ballooned up to over 220lbs/100kg. Even so, I felt contented and happy with the way I looked. Mainly because I was surrounded by positive, loving friends and influences. I did not feel the need to 'transform' myself into something that I was not.
"You are beautiful, just the way you are."
But if the way you are - is obese, stricken with sleep apnea, unfit, at risk of a flurry diseases, essentially, unhealthy at a young age - how could you consider yourself to be 'happy'? Concerned for my health, my mom brought me to a dietician at a government hospital who advised me on basic food groups (food pyramid, anyone?), exercise and more.
My weight reached a critical stage when the doctors found that I couldn't breathe at night due to sleep apnea - and I had to get my tonsils removed to accommodate my weight.
I knew I had to do something. Everyone was supportive of me losing weight - except me.
Moving on to college in the year 2008, I was at my lowest self-esteem. Surrounded by skinny friends, I was convinced that I needed to look pretty to fit in, at least. I started to wear more 'fashionable' clothing, experiment with make-up, hairstyles and more. My struggles with weight caused me to be constantly emotional, hormonal and angry at the world.
However, the unhealthy habits continued. Late night snacking, emotional eating, the lack of physical activity.
"I'm too fat to do anything."
I did not know where to start. Somehow I believed that I would stay this way forever. And if people couldn't accept the fact, I couldn't care less.
Look at those chubby fingers!!
At the end of 2011, I started to realise that change had to begin within me. My main motivation was the impending
3 months of summer school in the UK in 2012. There was absolutely no way that I was going to travel halfway around the world looking like a whale.
"I hated exercise with a passion."
Anything that requires exercise - count me out. I was perfectly happy to remain where I was.
Having started many 'diets' and unsuccessful exercise routines in the past, I was hesitant to share my plan with anyone. Secretly, I started a hardcore fitness regime and lost about 33lbs/15kg in 5 months (August - December 2011). However, I was completely alone in the journey - except for a few cyberpals I met on MyFitnessPal.
"I was afraid of failure."
And that led to my eventual downfall.
In the UK (year 2012), I lost another 11lbs/5kg in 3 months, bringing to total weight loss to 44lbs/20kg. I attributed this to the homecooked food, endless walking and clean air. It would be safe to say that my term in UK was the healthiest 3 months of my life.
Upon return to Malaysia, I quickly returned to my unhealthy habits. It was inevitable, and I should have seen it coming.
"I don't have time for this."
I started a new job and it took up most of my time. This journey took too much time, energy and effort. I let myself go. YOLO, right?
Who knew? In mid 2013, some of my colleagues started picking up on the importance of health and exercise, I realised that it was time to get back on the wagon. I started exercising again and enjoyed myself - but I was still doing it wrong.
The new exercise regime started in August 2013 - and ended in August 2013. I remembered reading about the 80/20 rule (80% diet, 20% exercise) rule and realised that I was neglecting my diet. The hardcore exercise made me hungry - all the time. I ate and ate, thinking that I could work off the calories the next day.
So, I revised my plan. Since Christmas, I have lost another 8.8lbs/4kg with God's grace and the help of a magic slimming lingerie - bringing the total to 52.8lbs/24kg!
Left: May 2011. Right: December 2013
Photo taken on Jan 11, 2013.
The journey continues. Right now, I'm still considered plus sized and I wear a size L/XL. I am not at my goal weight yet - there's another 22lbs/10kg to go. But I would love to share some of the new health lessons I've learned along the way.
Lesson #1: It's not a diet, it's a LIFESTYLE CHANGE
If you are going to commit to a lasting weight loss, remember this: A diet lasts for a few months. A year, maybe. But a lifestyle change lasts...a lifestyle. You can't expect to starve yourself for a few months, resume eating unhealthily as normal and not gain weight.
Lesson #2: Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper
One of the most important lessons I've learned is that our metabolism slows down towards the end of the day. Naturally, we do not need so many calories when we're go to bed. And this may sound impossible for Malaysians, as most of our lives revolve around food and heavy dinners - but trust me, try it for a week and you will see a difference.
早餐吃的饱 (eat a satisfying breakfast)
午餐吃得好 (eat a fulfilling lunch)
晚餐吃得少 (eat a substantial dinner)
Lesson #3: Be the best that you can be (做最好的自己)
When you're stuck in your comfort zone, it's hard to envision your dreams. I love this quote that I've heard from a Mandarin programme - that we should aim to be the best that we can be.
Lesson #4: Get support
You cannot journey alone. That was my first mistake - and now I know that I need the support and motivation from my friends and family to keep me going. Confide in someone that you trust, and get him/her to be your motivational partner.
Lesson #5: Calories in, Calories Out
One pound = 3,500 calories. An average person needs 2,000 calories to maintain his/her own weight in a day. Thus, if you aim to lose one pound (0.5kg) in a week, all you would have to do is:
3,500 calories / 7 days = 500 calories
2,000 calories - 500 calories x 7 days = 3,500 calories
Simply cut out 500 calories per day and you will be on the road to lose about 4lbs/2kg per month! If you do not wish to cut out 500 calories worth of food (that's one Double Cheeseburger excluding fries & coke), you can choose to cut out 250 calories for food + burn 250 calories with exercise.
Lesson #6: Don't be afraid to fall
If you fail, try and try again. Good things in life never come easy. Had a bad day? Pick yourself up and carry on. You can only move forward.
What do I eat? Here's a picture of my regular breakfast:
For breakfast, I typically have a bowl of Enco Muesli (you can find it at Jaya Grocer or Giant) in Chocolate Hazelnut, a banana and low fat milk. I also like to have a bowl of Instant Quaker Oats with hot water/milk, grapes/raisins and a tablespoon of honey. Yum!
For lunch, I eat anything. I hate having to deprive myself of a good lunch break especially when after a stressful morning in the office. However, I would recommend staying away from heavy simple carbohydrates like white rice and go for meehoon/chap fan without the fan etc.
Here's what I would have for dinner:
I've been advised to have fruits/vegetables for dinner - and now I find that I hardly feel hungry at dinnertime. It has helped tremendously with bloating the next morning, and I also sleep better. Goes to show how simple choices can make a huge difference.
What about exercise?
Eventually, I got over my hatred for exercise. I realised that my detest was mostly attributed to the fact that I looked like a hippo in gym shorts. I've always preferred working out at home - and so I discovered some awesome home workouts. If you're like me, these workouts are for you.
NO, you do not need an expensive gym membership. The best things in life are free! Some of my favourite exercise programmes include:
- Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred
This workout includes a mix of cardio, strength and ab training - meant to kickstart your healthy lifestyle, and it only takes 30 days! There are 3 levels of intensity, and if you wish to stay longer on any level, you can. I love Jillian's no-nonsense training style. She always gets me motivated to achieve more.
- Insanity
Don't play play. This workout is INSANE! I was very hesitant to try it at first, but curiosity got the better of me. The well-structured programme is laid out for 60 days, whereby you work your way up from Level 1 to Level 2. Each workout lasts 40 minutes, and at the end of it you'll either feel like you got punched in the stomach, or you've just won a million bucks. I hope it's the latter. :)
- Denise Austin Cardio Workout
Perfect for beginners - this low impact workout incorporates fun moves and some kickboxing as well! I love working out to Denise's positive attitude. Always gets me in the right mood.
- Turbojam
For those who love a little pick-me-up at the end of a long day, Charlene Johnson and her upbeat turbojam music will come to your rescue! I'm a fan of kickboxing, and this super fun workout will get you moving in no time. The moves may get a little monotonous after a while, but it's great for days 'in-between' when you seek a little variety.
Also, my sister and I recently started an entrepreneurial project to market Elken's DX, a slimming lingerie to fight bulges and banish fat especially on the abdomen area (which I have been struggling with for years). If you're interested, do check out
Heart2Heart Project: https://www.facebook.com/hearttoheartproject
At the end of the day, I'm grateful for the support that I've had from the Lord, and my friends & family - helping me to get this far. As for my resolution, I would really really like to wear a Cheongsam this Chinese New Year. ;)
I hope you have found this post somewhat inspiring - if your 2014 resolution is to lose weight and get healthy too, DO IT NOW! :)
Do feel free to leave me a comment about anything at all! Till next time, xx.
